If you work in Japan, you can’t avoid nomikai.
Nomikai isn’t just a drinking party. It’s where relationships are built and maintained. Not knowing the rules can make things awkward.
This guide covers the essentials of Japanese drinking culture.
What Is Nomikai?
Nomikai (飲み会) means going out drinking with colleagues after work.
Types:
- Kangeikai: Welcoming a new member
- Sobetsukai: Sending off someone who’s leaving
- Bounenkai: Year-end party (December)
- Shinnenkai: New Year gathering (January)
- Uchiage: Celebration after completing a project
Attendance often feels mandatory. Even when it’s “optional,” not going can leave a bad impression.
Why Nomikai Matters
1. Where True Feelings Emerge
Japanese business culture involves a lot of tatemae (public facade) during work.
At nomikai, honne (true feelings) come out more easily. Alcohol makes it possible to say things you can’t say at the office.
2. Relationship Building
Some relationships can’t be built through work alone. Spending time together at nomikai deepens trust.
3. Information Exchange
Information that doesn’t come up in official meetings often gets shared at nomikai.
Nomikai Etiquette
Seating Arrangement
Seating has meaning.
- Kamiza (upper seat): Furthest from the entrance. For bosses and senior people.
- Shimoza (lower seat): Closest to the entrance. For junior staff and newcomers.
Newcomers sit at shimoza and handle ordering and serving food.
Kanpai (Toast) Rules
- Wait until everyone has their drink
- The boss gives the kanpai speech
- When clinking glasses, juniors hold theirs lower than seniors
- Don’t drink before the kanpai
Pouring Drinks
Pouring for others:
- When your boss’s glass is getting low, ask what they’d like next
- Hold the bottle with both hands (one hand is rude)
- Pour when they lift their glass
Receiving a pour:
- Hold your glass with both hands, slightly tilted
- Say “arigatou gozaimasu” after receiving
- Take a sip before putting the glass down
Serving Food
Juniors and newcomers are expected to serve food.
- When dishes arrive, serve seniors and bosses first
- Use serving chopsticks if available; otherwise, flip your own chopsticks
- Portion appropriately so everyone gets some
The First Drink
“Toriaezu biiru” (beer for now) is standard. Everyone often orders the same thing for the first round.
From the second drink onwards, order whatever you like.
If You Can’t Drink
It’s fine if you can’t drink alcohol.
How to handle it:
- Honestly say “I can’t handle alcohol well”
- Order oolong tea or soft drinks
- Join for the kanpai, then switch to soft drinks
You don’t need to force yourself to drink. More people are choosing not to drink these days.
However, not attending the nomikai itself is a different matter. “I don’t go because I can’t drink” can leave a negative impression.
Conversation Tips
Safe Topics
- Work complaints (to some degree)
- Hobbies
- Family (general topics)
- Praising the boss
Topics to Avoid
- Politics, religion
- Bad-mouthing other colleagues (it might get back to them)
- Specific salary figures
- Serious criticism
Even with alcohol, there are things you shouldn’t say.
Nijikai, Sanjikai (Second and Third Parties)
Nomikai often doesn’t end at one place.
- Ichijikai: Main nomikai (izakaya)
- Nijikai: Bar, karaoke, etc.
- Sanjikai and beyond: Ramen, another bar
You don’t have to attend everything. It’s OK to leave after ichijikai with “osaki ni shitsurei shimasu.”
However, if you always leave at ichijikai, you might be seen as “not a team player.” Occasionally join nijikai.
Paying
Splitting the Bill
Japanese nomikai usually involves warikan (splitting equally). Everyone pays the same amount.
However:
- Bosses sometimes pay more
- Juniors sometimes pay less
- If someone says “I’ll cover tonight,” don’t refuse too much
The Kanji (Organiser) Role
The kanji is the person who plans and runs the nomikai.
- Restaurant reservation
- Confirming attendees
- Collecting money
- Guiding people to seats
Juniors are often assigned as kanji. It’s a hassle but also an opportunity to learn.
The Day After
The day after nomikai, it’s good manners to greet your boss or seniors.
Examples:
- “Kinou wa arigatou gozaimashita” (Thank you for yesterday)
- “Kinou wa gochisousama deshita” (If they paid for you)
Forgetting this can make you seem impolite.
Recent Changes
Nomikai culture is changing.
- Younger generations tend to avoid nomikai
- Post-COVID, some companies have fewer
- Criticism of “nomi-nication”
- Increased harassment awareness
Forced nomikai is decreasing. But it hasn’t disappeared completely.
Advice for Foreigners
You don’t need to be perfect. Japanese people understand that foreigners might not know all the rules.
Minimum to remember:
- Wait for kanpai
- Pay attention to your boss’s glass
- You don’t have to drink alcohol
- Thank people the next day
Nomikai is a good opportunity to understand Japanese work culture. Enjoy it.
Related Articles
- Japanese Gift-Giving Culture
- Japanese for Business: Where to Start
- First Time in Japan: What to Know
Written by Ayaka Uchida – CEO of A-Digital Works, founder of Nihon GO! World.